Ladies

For some reason, 53% of white women who voted, voted for Trump.

If you are a woman who voted for Trump, I do not understand your choice.

I cannot understand why you excused his reprehensible misogynist behavior and attitude toward women, his racism and hatred of minorities, his mocking of those with disabilities, and more. I truly do not understand why you believe a self-entitled pig like him deserves to hold the highest office in our nation or why you don’t see what this means to women, minorities, disabled people, and the poor.

I try to feel bad for you, but it is very difficult when you are blind to what he is planning to do to our nation. Perhaps you will never open your eyes to his gaslighting of America. Perhaps you will continue to do what the Bible-thumpers do, when they simply refer those who question back to the book. “It’s in the Bible.” You may simply justify your choice by parroting, “He’ll make America great again,” even though you do not understand what you or that slogan mean.

So I’m going to try to excuse your ignorance and you condescending to me, telling me I should “run for office” or “get behind a candidate” if I want to change something. Those remarks alone show that you don’t get it.

I’m not afraid to tell you this:

If you voted for Trump, especially if you are a woman, I do not want you in my life.

Now, for those of you who did not vote for Trump, this is where the work continues.

First, remember all women in what you’re doing when you protest this administration’s impending policies. Intersectional feminism is a thing and it’s a thing you need to understand. This includes all women – LGBTQ, disabled, minority… And I’d like to talk to you about minorities. Why? Because I’ve actually had people tell that because I live paycheck to paycheck, I am not privileged. 

It must be nice to believe that, but we need to keep in mind Black, Latino, Middle Eastern and Asian women have very different experiences here in America. Those experiences are called racism. It still happens and stopping it still matters.

If you don’t think racism is still a problem in America today, then you have a lot of learning to do.

If you wonder why there are so many white faces at a protest, then this is something you can change by realizing there’s a disconnect between white women and minorities. White feminism is hurting all of us. It’s beyond time for everyone to see that and realize there are many layers to what affects minority women, and our white feminism just doesn’t cut it.

We have to acknowledge that there is more to being a woman than, well, just being a woman. Like race, class, immigration status – all part of many women’s identities here in the United States. Feminism is not one-size-fits-all.

Whose fault is white feminism?

It’s ours, ladies. It’s ours, because as white women, we’ve set the racist standard for feminism since the 1800s. So guess what? It’s up to us to fix it. It’s up to us to ask Black women to voice their anger and up to us to validate it.

As white women, we’ve had it easier. Acknowledge that. I don’t care about your situation. If you’re a white woman, you’ve still had it easier than Black and other minority women, and if you don’t think that’s true, then you need to start having some deep, potentially uncomfortable conversations, with your minority friends.

You can’t think a bunch of white women are going to organize a protest and that women of other races will just show up, because women.

Why not, you ask?

Well, if you want your sisters of color to show up for you, guess what?

You need to show up for them.

If you don’t know how or don’t understand why #blacklivesmatter, then it’s time for you to reach out to your Black friends and start talking to them. Start asking questions. Sincerely ask them what they think and feel and have experienced. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Realize that where they are is because white people put them there.

And then show up and let them know a white person truly does stand with them.

Until you, however, can understand and check your own privilege, don’t put unfair expectations on the people upon whose enslaved backs your ancestors built America and feminism today.

More about Wendy

Wendy is a Pagan city hippie living in the country. She is also a genealogist, writer, gamer, Pagan, and one of the authors of "Steampunk for Simpletons."A college town New Englander turned one-horse town Nebraskan, she raises a cup of Dunkies to life among cornfields and coyotes. She is still pleasantly surprised that amber waves of grain exist, and has declared the Midwestern prairies "wicked cool."

2 thoughts on “Ladies

  1. Cari

    Beautifully said.

    Women of Colour (sorry, I’m Aussie now, the U stays lol) have a totally different experience. They are first treated like less because of their colour, THEN the sexism kicks in as if it’s just salt in the wound.

    I absolutely acknowledge my privilege at being born a white woman and can’t even being to imagine how different my life would have been had I not had that benefit.

    Reply

    1. Wendy

      Your u in color is very welcome here, Cari! 🙂

      Absolutely – there are layers to feminism for minority women that we white women cannot understand. We must strive to if we want them as our allies.

      Black women are intelligent, strong, and fierce, and I definitely want us working for the same cause. But that won’t happen unless we let them know we do check our privilege, show them we respect them and open our arms to them!

      Reply

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