As the title of the post says, here are my musings on being halfway through the year. This has been an interesting year for us. First, I received a significant promotion at work. This gave us some financial breathing room we haven’t enjoyed in a while. However, it has also been far more stressful than my previous position at work. So here are those musings on money, work and life.
Lesson 1: The money might be greener on the other side, but not the grass
I am over 6 months into the job. Despite the stress, I appreciate the opportunity. I am comfortable there for now. The only reason I will leave is if I get a better opportunity closer to home or with my writing.
There are moments I wish I could do more. I already put in 45+ hours a week and feel as though I am not doing enough. There are times I feel the pressure of what my family wants versus what they need. Then there are times I feel fantastic, because I gave someone I love something that is significant to them.
Lesson 2: Being the sole breadwinner is fraught with guilt at times, moments of triumph at others
I’ve had many people say to me, “I wish we could do that” – be the sole breadwinner. You can. We did it when I was earning $13 an hour. We did it when I got my first promotion and a raise to $14.25 an hour. I’m still not making a huge income. Each promotion and pay raise over the past 2 years has helped, but we haven’t changed how we do things.
Lesson 3: Living frugally and simply might mean delayed gratification sometimes
We’re still super frugal about how we do our grocery shopping. Our only big change there has been paying for the not-as-cheap laundry detergent and fabric softener. When you find yourself paying $7.99 for the nice smelling stuff versus $5.99 for the cheapo stuff, that feels like a treat.
We still grow everything we can in our garden. It feels good to get out in the sun and work with the earth. We love being able to bring in the harvest and make it part of our meals. Like DIYing our workshop, gardening gives us immense personal satisfaction and pride. In 2014, the garden helped us survive the long winter. In 2016, we don’t need it just to get by, but we see no reason to stop.
Lesson 4: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
I spent early 2016 re-learning me. That might sound weird, but I have a feeling many of these musings are relevant to middle age and the various returns that come with certain periods of our lives. At 27, during the early influences of my Saturn return, I felt the urge to become a mother and had my son. That is also the time I achieved certain goals I’d had since my young adulthood.
After riding a maternal high from 28 to 34, it all came crashing down when I realized my life had become more “my own” and separated from my first husband’s. My life revolved around my son, my coven and my writing, and I loved that. I didn’t need my husband, which was fine with me. When I took a chance and flew to live in another country with him, I met someone who put it very simply: “You aren’t a good match.” I needed to stop trying to be someone for someone else and just be me.
Lesson 5: The fates are still relevant and probably always will be
At the age of 35, I fell in love, realigned my priorities, got divorced and remarried. From late 2010 through 2012, I had to unlearn the negative things I had learned from my first marriage and try to see the positive side of marriage. I went baby crazy and, 10 years after I had my son, my daughter was born. Immediately after that, my husband and I chose to leave the financial security of the military and start our entire lives over again in a new place with a new baby, new house and new job. I spent 2013 to 2015 alternating between freaking out and being wildly happy.
As you might imagine, the five years from 2010 to 2015 were pretty chaotic. It was a half-decade transition and one I am finally settling down from just now.
Lesson 6: Being your husband’s priestess is both daunting and rewarding
In finally re-learning me. I stopped trying to do everything and went back to the girl I was at 16: hippie, writer, genealogist. Making spirituality a priority also did something wonderful for us. My husband has been happier and more relaxed as we’ve worked on spiritual endeavors. We’re a coven of two and it works for us.
As the next Full Moon in Sagittarius comes around on June 20 (also the Summer Solstice), I see how the events of the past 6 years are finally settling into place. It is appropriate timing, because June 20, 2013 is the first day I set foot in the community where I now live. The magick of threes, of the May and June full moons both being in my sun sign, of this one falling on the Solstice – the celebration of the culmination of all the growth of the first half of the Wheel of the Year…
It’s only natural that I’m reflecting on the year. I enjoy writing out musings and lessons, and what I think the rest of the year will bring.